Delegation or dumping?  A mother’s proper role

Friday, 06. November 2009 by Renee Ellison

Remember what the ideal structure of the day should be.  Don’t get confused on this point.  Keep first things first, Bible first, then academics in the morning, then home-based business pursuits in the afternoon.  A growing home-based family business can be vital to surviving in the coming hard economic times ahead of us.  But it must be kept in its proper place.  And Mom, remember that YOU are the head contractor that keeps it this way.

You could start the day by reading aloud to your children from any good Bible written on their level (Arthur Miller’s Bible Stories is excellent).  This morning Bible ritual builds strong family memories around understandable, on-their-level Bible-warmth.  Emotional security for a child is built around mama’s or papa’s reassuring low, calm reading voice, and snuggling.  This is vital DAILY input and a wonderful time for bonding, even if you get nothing else done all day.  This is a non-negotiable.

For both the academics and home based business parts of the day, remember that YOUR part is to only do the administration and give counsel and discipline, all while sitting on a mommy-throne in the middle of the room, or, more often, towering over them on the exact site.  Your judicious all-seeing eye, encompassing the larger picture, is what is needed.  Like Moses with his arms held in the air while the people conquered the enemy, you must stay on top of it.  Let the children do the actual work, but you are doing the detailed oversight, seeing that it is all done properly.  Stay on them like a contractor or foreman on a building job. And stay WITH them with encouraging words and minor course corrections and refinements.  You, just like the contractor, must BE THERE (emotionally, intellectually and physically) to provide oversight on the execution of the details.  It is just like the way a good contractor checks out the electrical wiring, AS IT PROCEEDS, and gives the approval after every vital step.  Delegation is not about hoping the job will get done by someone else.  This idea is what business people wrongly thought for decades when delegation was first taught as a concept, to their great loss of profits.  Delegation is best achieved by being your children’s OVERSIGHT COMPANION all the way.

Delegation is not about the mama being free to go do something else, talk to the neighbors, take phone calls, etc., it is about job ROLES: you need to be free of ALL distractions during those morning hours.  Simply let no outsider or outside business take up that time.  You still have all afternoon and evening for all of that.  Make mornings non-negotiable, and BE THERE.

Along with the academics, your children should be cleaning your house impeccably.  First one academic subject, then a little house cleaning, then the next subject, then another small housekeeping job, alternating first one and then the other.  If on top of this, you are also doing a bread-making business (or some other income producing business) your children can even bake all the bread.  Your job is to work out the kinks and keep streamlining the PROCESS for them.  It is good for children to work hard.  Hard work builds character, internal discipline, confident job-attack skills, vitality, and ENDURANCE.  This is far more valuable than play.  (Never fear, they’ll still get sufficient play in around the edges and in the evenings.)

Keep pumping out the work, keep each kind of work in its proper place, academics in the morning, income producing activities in the afternoon, and keep your roles straight and you’ll make enormous progress/profit on all fronts.  I hope this helps you keep the big picture the big picture!