Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner


Subscribe to our Blog feed in a reader

Search by keywords:

Advanced Search

Latest Products

Phonetic Sounds Visuals Packet Phonetic Sounds Visuals Packet:

After reading Teach Phonics Faster (available from us formatted for Kindle, print, or regular e-book), purchase… more >>

Teach Math Faster (Kindle book) Teach Math Faster (Kindle book):

Want to remove exasperating moments from the way your youngster learns basic math? Because math is so… more >>

Kindergarten Songs and Rhythms (audio CD) Kindergarten Songs and Rhythms (audio CD):

Enjoy this sweet,calming music for families with young children.  Music plays a beautiful role in a godly… more >>





Feeling overwhelmed? Use a visible project board to get more done with less mental effort

Monday, 15. December 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

Feeling overwhelmed as a homeschooling mom?  Here is an instant project board idea that will free up your brain from having to carry so much.  This idea works in and through your zooey schedule and your constant demands for multi-tasking.  For most of us, sometimes it is hard enough just to make it through the day, let alone progress with any additional projects we would like to accomplish ourselves.  In just a few seconds you can set up an easy, do-able project board that can help you get going.  This wall-board will enable you to visualize what you need to do—but you don’t have to actually do any of it until you feel like doing it.

After hearing about the unparalleled success rates of using a professional project board, I recently started a homespun version on the back of a bedroom door, using Post-It notes and my door—that’s it—no other surface—just the door.  I stuck my sticky notes under a number of category headings all over the back of the door.  I put them on the back of that door so that no one sees them, because that door is usually open.  So, the list is against the wall until I want to see it, privately.  My door is now covered with little mini-tasks.  At first I was tenuous about writing notes for it—but now I recklessly throw all kinds of mini-tasks up on there.

You can often find Post-It notes on sale, making the financial toll almost nil—one-tenth of a cent per Post-It note or so smile —not bad for a tool to get yourself wonderfully organized.  For the clearest visibility of what you write on them, I find that the light yellow ones work best; if the paper is any darker, you can’t see your lettering from a distance away.  You could use the more flamboyant-colored Post-Its for your headers at the top of the door, noting each category you want to move forward in.

I’m finding this system more successful than anything I’ve ever attempted as a tool to “manage me”.  It gives a visual oomph to get tasks done.  If you are super tired, or have only five minutes, you look at the door and you may not have energy (or time) for a big task, but you can spot a little something on there and think “Oh, E-Z-P-Z, I can just whip that one out.”  This enables you to “limp when wounded”—eventually accomplishing an amazing amount.

To give yourself a wee reward when you’ve completed a task, transfer the Post-It note to the bottom of the door and watch your accomplishments stack up “down there” (if you need this sort of motivation smile —and some of us do).  Otherwise, pitch them in the trash as you do them.

Here are a few little additional tweaking tips I learned while doing this:

    + Write only one task on each Post-It note (this saves rewriting lists of details over and over).
    + Write out your note with large letters, using the whole Post-It note surface for your short phrase.
    + Write with a marker instead of pen or pencil; it comes out much bolder; you can see it further away.

Happy enhanced brain power, and stacks and stacks of accomplishments to you!

Filed Under: Home management tips

Struggling with peer pressure

Wednesday, 10. December 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

How do I teach my children how to withstand peer pressure?  My son is a completely different person when he is around a certain friend.  We have spoken to him about his behavior, but it seems that he desires a friend so much that he is willing to change to fit in with this other boy’s way of functioning.  The other boy makes fun of everything we do, and our son joins in with this behavior so he will be accepted and have “fun.”  When my husband and I correct him about it he becomes grumpy and sullen.  He is a marvelous, loving, caring, kind, helpful, gentle young man when he is at home, but a completely different person when around this other person.

Wanting to please their peers can be a serious problem for young people. When my husband’s folks raised their children, they solved the problem with daring forthrightness; they simply told them, “You’re different!  Get used to it!” And get used to it, they did. The primary way? They were taught to participate in all things good by leading everything, whenever possible.  Also, they were never allowed to go to worldly events. They had to occupy themselves with something else that evening—something that would grow their world.  So occupy they did—and soon forgot the other.

In our own family, we isolated the child and taught her that the way of the common peer is a boring path of mediocrity—showing her time and again that when people saturate themselves in the world it doesn’t lead anyplace good. They do endless figure 8’s throughout life. We diffused the lure of the pagan by pointing out the end results over and over again.  Eventually she began seeing it herself, and pointed it out to us.

Thus, instead of being fearful that your child won’t fit in, you make him euphoric with his own high plans.  He will scarcely have time to contemplate the life of worldlings, because he is sooooooo busy making something exceptional out of his own world—and getting ahead in life.  Perhaps your husband can take your son to work, with the goal that he would learn a practical trade, perhaps building his own paid-for house someday with the skills his father taught him and thereby never have a mortgage—for example.  Now that’s an exciting consuming goal for a while.  Help him set his personal goals higher.

Don’t give in—and don’t give up.  Sharpen your vigilance.  Increase your own friendship and time with him. We have great encouragement in the Psalms that it is okay—more than that, it is actually righteous—to choose righteous friends. Proverbs 18:24: “A man with unreliable friends comes to ruin.”  Have him look up that verse and these, too: Proverbs 12:26, 13:20, and 14:8Proverbs 5 talks about giving thought to your ways—and that the ungodly wander aimlessly.

So, who should the children of godly parents relate to then, especially if they have few if any peers?  The immediate family. You just go deeper with befriending siblings.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s family life was amazing. The brothers were deep good friends. They constantly challenged each other, intellectually and spiritually, so much so that eventually no one on the outside could keep up with their vigor and rigor. The Bonhoeffer boys began to see that their own family was exceptional—and that they couldn’t find such first-rate companions just anywhere.

The best companions any child can have are other mature Bible-believing adults—most especially his parents.  Peers generally drag each other down. A third grader doesn’t have enough of an experience base to mentor another third grader, for example.  Hover over the formation of friends very carefully.  Continue the watchfulness all the way until you get them down the marriage aisle with a like-minded mate of deeply shared faith—ideally, early on.  Then, and only then, can you put your feet up and rest.  The devil tells you to quit such work when they are 16 (or 6, for that matter, when parents give them over to kindergartens all over the world).

Develop in each child the habit of having strong personal daily devotions.  See to it that your children read in scripture every day by themselves and for themselves.  Teach them the habit of underlining something for themselves and taking down one idea from the text; they can write it in their own notebook.  For adolescents it wouldn’t hurt to read ten chapters of Proverbs every day for three days and then do it all over again—and again and again for a while.  The book of Proverb repeatedly warns that having the wrong friends can lead to ruin.  Scripture will speak directly to their spirit.  Make them eager to see what God says, for the final bar is soon.

Finally, don’t submit to parental erosion.  One of the enemy’s commonly used tricks is to make us throw our hands up.  Instead, we throw our prayers up, and we “up” our vigilance.  By doing this, you will be tracking the problem at the “letting out of waters”—at the hole in the dike, right at the source.

Thoughts on family entrepreneurship

Saturday, 29. November 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

Entrepreneuriship is what founded our country, and it is currently yielding better and faster results for the young than most college degrees.  It is beneficial for homeschoolers to train their young thoroughly and ongoingly in the dynamics of entrepreneurial endeavor.

Having said this, here are some balancing statements regarding family entrepreneurship:
Sometimes hearing a talk or reading a book on this topic can cause us to make work assumptions and take daring risks that go beyond the implications of the talk or the book, which were designed to first and foremost inspire, or to get us to think outside the box, but skips over some “in-the trenches reality” fall-out.  In other words, it may tempt us to lay hold of implications that simply are not true in our particular case, and which go beyond what the work actually is and what it will yield.

All work involves a high measure of tedium; no work exists anywhere without that.  There will be some hours in all types of work, whether it is for an outside boss or you are your own boss, that will demand sheer grit endurance.  One could conclude from a short inspirational talk that one route is horrible and the alternative route is totally pain free or slave-free, which is not true.

Anyone who makes it in any business endeavor has worked like a slave to get there—even MLM’ers.  The ones that make it big, worked.  Their growing income didn’t fall off trees.  It cost them something.  They lived, slept, ate and drank their MLM business endeavor, and worked far in excess of normal business hours.

Sometimes inspirational talks can avoid discussions about obstacles.  For example, the current red tape that small businesses are under is far more difficult to navigate than what small businesses in the past had to deal with.  For example, the minute you hire anyone, you have to consider the fiscal and financial toll of computing worker’s compensation, Obamacare expenses and reporting paperwork.  It can turn into a nightmare quickly.  To hire any contract worker socks the upstart company with heavy taxes, which may be out of all proportion to what the business entrepreneur can recoup in the initial years.  Currently business governmental red-tape is a formula for failure, for not being able to make it.  It is business sludge.  The political leaders of the State of Israel had to change their tax structure and business laws in order to jump start their country decades ago.  Currently we are governmentally in a business law jungle; the noose has tightened.

Also consider the anxiety levels of self-employment.  To be an entrepreneur means you wake up every morning unemployed, and that can cause high levels of stress.  One never knows if the personal business one thinks will work, will actually succeed, given the current climate, especially if no one else has tried your particular new idea.

Having listed these entrepreneurial cautions and considerations, here are eight good resolutions:
One:  To lower your stress levels, grow your entrepreneurial endeavors on your side hours, over lunch breaks, evening hours and weekends, until they can sustain you financially—before you even think of quitting your 8 to 5 SURE job.

Two:  Tighten the use of all your stray hours. To grow an alternative plan, you must continually ask yourself the question: “Is this the best possible use of this hour to advance me financially?”  As a parent of a budding entrepreneur, it is most important to teach this single paramount principle to adolescents.  Every hour lost in youth is irretrievable.  Ben Franklin is a great example of getting serious about finances early in life.

Three:  Throw yourself into other people’s seasonal or short-term income streams.  Whenever money is flowing, get in the boat and paddle in that water.  Then come back to your own dreams when nothing else is happening—making use of private hours in the deep, cold winter months, for example.  We watched our very fiscally wise neighbor do this.  He always worked for someone else whenever he was asked, and then did his own projects when nothing else presented itself.  Thus, he grew both kingdoms at once.  Money earned little by little is what makes a solid future, not “waiting ‘til my ship comes in!”

Four:  Begin with what you already have. Examine and take inventory of the endless possibilities of your own land, your house, your car, your specific resources, your buildings, public buildings, other businesses, your aptitudes, your knowledge, your talents, people you know, current business relationships, apprenticeship possibilities close to home, and free online training.  Many of the most successful entrepreneurs have logged in many hours in online education—three-day workshops in various subjects, etc.—taking advantage of the training opportunities and finding ways to “plus” their business more.

Five:  Take your expenses out of a child’s upstart small business endeavor; he or she must reimburse you for the plastic cups for a lemonade stand, for example.  This teaches the children that they never get the whole dollar; they have to learn to factor that in from the get-go.

Six:  Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.  Ecclesiastes 11:1 says: “Toss your bread on the waters” —morning, noon and night—for who knows which one will succeed.  Multiple income streams assure MORE success.

Seven:  Steer clear of MLM’s, they place too much stress on friendships because they are loaded with expectations for the other guy (over which you have almost no control, after your initial influence).

Eight:  Use your few rare high energy free hours to plan for the use of your low energy hours.  In other words, learn how to limp when wounded.  Develop the personal discipline to keep going doing something that involves brawn but no brain to keep advancing your own little world in the directions you want it to go, using small moments wisely.  It is important that parents teach their young how to marshal stray hours to build their own fortresses.  That gives them focus and ammunition against the temptation to fritter away their time in ways that don’t further their own long-term goals.  A productive child is a happy child.

For further reading along these lines, read Sure Financial Steps for Beginners.

Spiritual profundities in Les Miserables

Sunday, 23. November 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

Victor Hugo’s nearly 1,500 page French tome, Les Miserables, may well have been the most profound novel ever written.  If you have a teenager or young adult, this is a good read.  Here are some thoughts to accompany that reading—to view it not only as a story, but as a parableThe novel is a full discourse of every nook and cranny the soul runs to, to understand itself.  It is saturated with spiritual verities.

Javert epitomizes the law, unbridled and metastasized into a cancerous fever on an insistent hunt for its prey—a universal “gotcha”.  When the law becomes a conundrum even to himself, his soul is confronted with an irresolvable complexity.  Choosing mercy is unthinkable.  Sadly, as seems the case with most people, he must die with his theology intact, even if it doesn’t “fit” and even if it was proven to be incorrect.  Suicide is the only way out of his rigidity.

Juxtaposed to this is a depiction of the very opposite, the low-life; lawLESSness run aground in its own bawdy insatiable flesh.  The flesh even pillages the dead for more stuff, totally blinded to the fact that this IS, in fact, eventually death for him, too—and then what will he live for?  The revolutionaries are the “arm of the flesh” trying to change the hearts of men from the outside in.  Without God as a reference point, without prayer, men are sure to strew the stage of life with death.  As in Hamlet, revenge eats up everything in its path; not a soul is alive on that stage at the end of that tragedy.

Eponine depicts for us the secular humanist who is hunting for salvation in a place where it will never be: a hand-picked lover, who himself is preoccupied with someone ELSE.  She dies in the arms of a transient fulfillment.  Desperate to be sure of her ground, she tells IT how to function, what to say and do, and she clings to it still.

And Jean Valjean?  His thieving habit, he thinks, needed to work his own salvation, still not cured after 19 years in prison (that it was done for a good purpose made no difference), so he tries it again.  He sees no other way to meet his needs—which are many.  But, alas, his trembling confidence is met again with the “lock-him-up”.  Life, for him, now, is a verified endless dead-end.  However, this time his thieving despair is unexpectedly met with the priest’s “Take my silver candlesticks, too”, and Valjean’s habituated impulsive world-view dissolves.  What is this?  Some mysterious abundance that goes beyond my needs? Mercy?  Not only has he now felt it, he also now realizes that he may be the agency of it, too.  His conversion is none other than Christ in the soul—the synthesis of law and mercy.  The halleluiahs break out over his wasteland and he quietly and maturely lives differently—Calvary bound, too.

The story has it all.  It even raises the great universal, cosmic question of “Who Am I?” Am I this thing or the other?  Where do I “come down?”  Where is my core?  What is my zip code, really?!  Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s famous poem from prison was titled the same: “Who Am I?”  “Am I caring and deferential, as my prison mates imagine me to be, or am I the wild man who thrashes around inside, full of questions?”  Shakespeare’s Hamlet adds to the body of literature, also asking this question.  “To be or not to be? that is THE question.”  And so, too, we see the Psalmist, King David, beg for integration even in his mature soul—far more advanced than most: “May the meditations of my heart be pleasing to thee, Oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”  May I not live in shadows.  Deliver me from splinteredness.  Make me “one” before thee, in my inward parts.  Show me to myself.

“Who am I” is a question that really none of us can answer.  Only He who made us really knows.  Self-discovery takes a lifetime; it is really only unveiled as we partake of God-discovery, and even then it is only mincingly understood.  With Bonhoeffer we end up saying, “I do not know, but what I do know is that “I am Thine!”

(For another believer’s more extended foray into this topic, see Bob Welch’s book of 52 Little Lessons from Les Miserables.)

Pros and cons of using the Charlotte Mason approach to elementary education

Monday, 17. November 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

Some homeschoolers are worried that if they were to use the Charlotte Mason approach, vital sequential skill development would get lost in the matrix of actually trying to DO her approach.  For example, if a child were to try to learn the violin or piano by “wandering and wondering,” he might not end up at the level of excellence of an Isaac Stern or an Arthur Rubenstein!  Indeed, sometimes it takes a ruthless sequential tutor to get you there.  A huge chasm begins to develop between Mason’s lofty ideals and what actually happens in the home.

On the other hand, some parents worry that following a course of sequential academic skill development will lose some of Mason’s “awe and wonder” development.  Certainly, no devoted homeschool mom wants to lose that aspect, if there is some way to achieve it along the way.  Bring ON the awe and wonder!

Considering the above two scenarios, let’s look objectively at the strengths and weaknesses of Mason’s method of elementary education, with an eye toward implementing what’s good and discarding what’s not so good.

By the way, interestingly, with only a little tweaking, “what’s good” in the Charlotte Mason approach can all be applied to A.C.E. (Accelerated Christian Education’s curriculum) with less than half the effort and cost. For one thing, right out of the shoot, the parent doesn’t have to spend the greater part of two decades hunting and shopping for the next “great book” (each child will need truckloads of those)—nor will she spend the exorbitant amounts of money to acquire that library.  A.C.E. has already compiled over 15,000 “greatly written” concepts, much of it in story form, FOR you, and there is no lid on what your child can read in the evenings and weekends in the larger great books—without the HAVE-TO pressure for also doing that during your core academia in the day. Keep in mind that you’ll be doing schooling for 12 looooooonnnnnggggg years in one form or another.  What happens when the parent “tires”—then what?  All theories look good on PAPER.  What happens on Thursday mornings after mommy has been up all night with the baby?  That is the “rub”.  What if we can’t FIND a “great book” that day?  And what of the daily development of math and writing skills?  There is a lot more implementation complexity here for a homeschooler than meets the eye.

The strengths and weaknesses of Mason’s core tenets:

One:
Mason designed schools to implement her method.  Being unmarried herself, she, no doubt, did not realize the value of the sheer holy VOLTAGE of what having one’s own children at home produces over a lifetime.  These educational setting CHOICES are the difference between “home-centric” life and “peer-centric” life.  The potential for unity, bonding, and spiritual influence (as a FAMILY) in the world is staggering if homeschooling is done “right”.  It is what Abraham, Isaac and Jacob were achieving through their dynasties.

In schools—yes, even in good private schools—the “curriculum” may become far more than a parent bargains for, while the child rubs shoulders with peers from broken homes, media-addicted homes, spiritually defunct homes, emotionally abandoned and preoccupied homes, twisted homes.  The mandate in Deuteronomy 4-6 to educate one’s OWN offspring at home primarily by ADULTS is the most powerful means of discipling the next generation known to man.  Other third graders simply does not have the experience base to mentor YOUR third grade child—but mentor them on the playground and in the restrooms, they will.  The good can become the enemy of the best.  Where education takes place needs to be a concern for any spiritually responsible parent.

Two:
Mason recommends having children read REAL literature (instead of twaddle) from the get-go. Who could argue with this!  We absolutely agree!  Many nursery rhymes and fairy tales are straight from the pit of hell.  Only the devil could have designed them to terrorize children so well.  They cut their teeth on: “When the bough breaks the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all.”  How lovely.  And why we would ever teach that a fox eats your grandmother as per Little Red Riding Hood?  Just what a child needs, don’t you think?!  Every single one of those rhymes and children’s stories need to be evaluated BIBLICALLY.  What is to be DRAWN from this story anyway?  And Mason would roll over in her grave if she saw what the MEDIA now adds to this collection of garbage.  Even ADULTS couldn’t stand this parade of horror, grotesque creatures and violence that are now marketed to our children.  We all can be agreed with Mason: jettison the reading JUNK—all of it.

Mason’s phrase “real literature” or “classical literature”, however, is in great need of tweaking.  One has only to read Kevin Swanson’s book, Apostate: The men who destroyed the Christian West, to realize that classical literature can be from the pit of hell as well. Hawthorne’s novel, The Scarlet Letter, for example, leaves the adulteress with none of Christ’s blood to draw from, and no law to understand her guilt by.  There is no confession, and there is no redemption.  Who wants to put that hopelessness and ambiguity down deep in a young adult’s soul?  Aristotle, Plato and Socrates were avowed atheists.  Would we allow them through our front door in person, sitting our children at the feet of their long white robes, if given the choice?  So, what is the solution here?  We must hand-pick this “great” literature.  The Apostle Paul later despised his worldly education, as did Augustine, both of whom were thoroughly educated in the “classics.”  For ideas, especially for young daughters, get Melanie’s stellar highly screened list of favorite books off our website; she (being a librarian from birth smile ) already did decades of screening homework for you in this area; her book selections are superb.

Three:
Mason posits using narration (a verbal or written summary as a response to all verbal or written content shared with the child, as opposed to fill in the blanks).  This is an EXCELLENT strategy.  The brain works hard to cling to and refashion knowledge in order to make it one’s own, via this process.  But sometimes (oftentimes), Mom and Dad aren’t around, or are preoccupied and CAN’T listen to the sheer AMOUNT of narration that eight children would require to do EACH day to process ALL information this way.  Let us get some balance here.  Fill in the blanks isn’t akin to hell.  It, too, is a way of processing information smile.  It CAN get the child educated, too!  The solution? Use narration around the dinner table at night and every chance you get, but spare yourself the rest of it through the day if you have to ALSO get the laundry done and dinner fixed!  Using it as your highest trick in the bag, doesn’t mean you HAVE to use it unmitigatingly.  Use it as a marvelous educational tool on your teacher’s belt—one of many.

Four:
Mason puts forth having children take meandering nature walks, noting discoveries in a notebook, and drawing (and sometimes collecting what they see).  Go for it!  This is good stuff!  But this nature emphasis doesn’t have to limit or define the REST of one’s academics.  It makes sense that this would be a wonderful childhood activity—especially to replace hours of media.  But so is music practice—which builds virtuosos, and drawing skill—which builds real art ability (not the development of artistic abstractions), gymnastic skill, entrepreneurial endeavor (so your 13 year old can completely run your apple orchard BY HIMSELF, selling the produce, doing his own spreadsheets, etc., and your daughter can cook any gourmet meal to serve to 12 people, at the drop of a hat, no sweat! or vice/versa).  Any open-ended REAL LIFE activity will accomplish “awe and wonder growth”, sparing a child from hours and hours of childhood aimlessness.  The strategy?  Figure out what an ADULT is and incrementally get there, starting today while the person is a young child.

Five:
Mason recommends teaching grammar/writing skills off from the child’s own written works.  Yes and no.  Sequentially teaching a child the ideal way to do his penmanship and cursive writing is not awful.  In fact, for generations it has yielded LEGIBLE handwriting.  And teaching phonics sequentially will save you tons of academic heartache later.  However, if a child still guesses at what he is reading through using comprehension clues, his reading will stay dwarfed.  Wandering around in the alphabet might not “get you there”.  Reading doesn’t HAVE to be a hit or miss proposition.  There is a KNOWN way, tired and true, to get this job done that takes the guesswork out of it for a lifetime.

On the other hand, Mason’s dictation ideas are excellent.  In fact, historically, taking down daily dictation was used by the French in their schools, to very good advantage.  To see what actually makes it onto the child’s page is a wonderful way to frequently and casually “test” him or her. Mason’s focus here is great.  We agree, wholeheartedly—but that doesn’t preclude ALSO teaching him writing skills, line upon line, to get him there.

An EASY Solution? Have your cake and eat it, too ?! At very low financial cost to you?
Use A.C.E. as your track to ride on (very inexpensively) and have your child do narrations off THAT content, some days, if you wish.  The content is there all gathered FOR YOU.  You can just vary your teaching STYLE around those 15,000 concepts that are already provided FOR you.  THEN have your child read recreationally the “great books” from your pre-screened list of excellent REAL books—i.e. all spiritually non-compromised great literature.  Reading all of the available biographies of missionaries, for example, teaches your child selflessness like nothing else.  All biography inspires; it reminds us that we each just have one life to live, and it shows us the way some truly great individuals chose to live.  There.  We just saved you hours and hours of shopping, anxiety, and oversight trauma—and your child WILL get educated.  You can take that to the bank.

Finally: also teach your child the Bible by reading sequentially through Egermeier’s Children’s Bible Story EVERY NIGHT before bed.  Do not skip this input.  The years pass quickly, and what you didn’t put in their spirit may not ever get put there.  After a few times through the Egermeier edition you can switch to Arthur Maxwell’s 10-volume set, The Bible Story; the pictures are exquisite.  If you don’t teach your child the Bible, you might as well scratch your influence in the world, no matter how well educated your child becomes in all the other areas.  It IS sadly possible to educate an intelligent murderer, you know.  We must teach our children the WHY of life, not just the HOW.  Live in and through and under the BIBLE, thoroughly.  Then and only then will you have “educated” your child.  God-speed.

Steer your young girls out of “Magazine Anxiety”

Friday, 14. November 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

Faith cometh by hearing, worldliness by sight. Magazines mainline discontent into most every young girl in the country.  The polished pictures carry a world of impact.  Anxiety is what it sells—levels and levels of unmitigated anxiety.  Magazines set up a comparison between what she IS and what an airbrushed photo shoot makes all other reality SEEM to be.  The “loser image” thoughts overwhelm a young girl (and often her mother, by the way, via her own magazines).

Sight is often not reality; it can be 180 degrees from reality.  It can even be a downright lie.  Photo shoots and materialism make us focus on our trappings instead of essences in in all sorts of areas (for example, needing yet another set of dishes, rather than serving a better meal; needing the right image jacket, even though very uncomfortable; etc.).  We then live for the wrong things.  “He who dies with the most toys, wins.”  Thus, we hold on to the nebulous “win” as more and more images flood the soul from the action-packed noisy media, too.  Magazines and media are some of the devil’s chief agencies of getting the human to prefer the knowledge of the tree of good and evil to what we could have been and could have had, spiritually, over the course of a lifetime, if we had stuck to the tree of life.

In grocery store check-out aisles we see magazines that read “Celebrity Falls in Love,” marries, has baby, lives in mansion—but on the other side of the rack are all the magazines that tout the break-ups, the affairs, falling out of love, bankruptcy.  Train your daughters to skip the cruise through celebrities’ lives; that goes nowhere.  Those “realities” are nightmares of living in figure 8’s, perpetually.

We traveled to Panama once and while on a public bus noticed all of the scantily dressed, spiked heeled, tightly jeaned, overly made-up teenaged girls glued to a magazine in their lap—all of them, faces riveted there, yes, up and down the bus.  They learned what to do from the magazines, studied them religiously, and then enslaved themselves to carry it out in their lives.  When a few of them hopped off the bus, a gang of boys waited for them at the bus stop—ready to eat their dessert.  They had done it many times before, and had the routine down.  Virginity was a thing of the past.  The girls had been brainwashed to live for display, and paid the price for what the display brought them.  The magazines have one goal in mind: to make our daughters into sex slaves.  Whether it be in school or at church, makes no difference.  You can’t leave a young girl—in the bloom of youth—half-dressed and expect that she will be a servant of the Lord.  Shut off the propaganda machine.  Get it out of your home and their lives.  Begin when she is young.  Never let it in.  Dump the anxiety production.  Your daughter is flirting with visual cancer.  It is no gift to her.

Keeping a child academically motivated and on task

Tuesday, 04. November 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

Here is a peek into a discussion that involves all home school mothers, to one degree or another.  Thousands of mamas could ask the same!

A mom asked, “What do you do to keep your kiddos motivated during school time?  My son has a hard time focusing and staying on track periodically when I’m not sitting right next to him.  I try to make sure I can dedicate some time to sitting next to him reminding him to stay focused on his work but food needs to be made, dishes need done, laundry needs folded, etc.  Do you have any tips for me?”
________________________________________

Dear Mother,

In the beginning of all academic endeavor, children are far too new at the task to be left alone.  You must sit right with them, one child on your right and the other on your left, in the beginning stages.  The rule of thumb is that a parent doesn’t push the child away, the child will eventually push you away when they are ready to “go solo!”  That is how you will know when it is time.  The child will initiate it, and it will occur at different times for different skills.  The child will let you know when it is time to back off.  In the meantime you must stick right with them.

Think of Olympic trainers/coaches: they are “on it,” watching every stroke, even telling their “little charge” what to think during stress and competition.  These coaches wouldn’t think of letting their protégés figure it all out on their own.  It is too costly to let anything slide.

Academics don’t go on all day, but for two hours or so every morning you must be all theirs.  No phone calls, no errands, no appointments; this is sacred time to grow a child in “wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.”  Tutors of British royalty were right there with those children for several hours every day, raising up royalty.  Our children are no less regal or important, spiritually.  They are eternal people who go on forever.  There is absolutely nothing more important than investing in your child.  Focus.  (If you want to see what the odds really are all about, read The Power of a Focused Mother from our website.)

Now, you can do many things of your own while sitting next to your child while he is focused—but the second he veers off, your first priority is to gently and lovingly re-focus him.  A large part of your job is just tapping his paper with your pencil to re-focus him, when he strays or daydreams, but you will also have to answer questions and instruct).  Often you will be able to read your own book (have your own devotions, for instance), peel potatoes, write up menus, while sitting right next to him, if he is doing well for a few minutes, but you must keep your eye peeled and your heart riveted on the main agenda.

If your kitchen is a separate room, move a card table into your kitchen, during academic time, so that your children are right near you the whole time that they are doing academics, if you have to also meal prep during that same time.

A child never learns mental discipline by himself.  He learns to discipline his mind through many, many experiences of external discipline while he is sitting right next to his mother, his father, or a grandparent.  This helps him get “the hang of it.”  Even the Savior used the “with you” principle with His 12 disciples.  He kept them with Him, so they could observe and mimic everything.  Tossing a child into a corner with a workbook page (as teachers often do in the public schools) is academic abandonment.  Children don’t have an experience base that is strong enough for them to be able to cope with academic rigor.  They don’t know how to work on their own, or how to master new material.  They have never been down this road before; you have.  A tutor is a TUTOR, and so a parent who is tutoring must stay on task for as long as it takes.  If you do, the outcomes will be tremendous.  You will never regret it.  Sadly, there are many parents who later realize what kind of a ball they dropped too early—to their sorrow.

To get the housework done, have the children work with you, after they’ve tackled their academics or in the midst of it, to accomplish all the work that is needed to make the day run smoothly.  Teach them that work always comes before pleasure.  Think: is there something left undone?  We do that first!  Develop the work ethic in your children by requiring them to work, as long as there is still work to be done.  Abraham Lincoln built fences and he schooled; there was little to no entertainment in his childhood.  Responsibility and work build a man’s character, like nothing else.  Our culture is top heavy; we’re entertaining our children to death.  There is no life apart from work for any human being, at most any age, and to give the illusion otherwise is simply that—an illusion.  Idleness is the Devil’s playground.  Mothers by the scores with large families have learned this work principle, in spades.  They couldn’t survive without this teamwork.  They start with their two years olds, requiring them to carry their own diapers to deposit in the trash can.  So trained, a child will grow to think nothing of it.  Work will become a blessed habit, and the child will feel very good about himself, for good reason smile

Saddle in.

Thanksgiving: Finessing the impossible :)

Saturday, 01. November 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

I belonged to the faculty women’s club when we first moved to Durango when Todd was at the college.  One older wife and her husband owned a big mansion on 3rd Avenue (the gorgeous avenue parallel to Main with the big trees down the center).  She did a yearly elegant meal for the whole club in her home, using all the downstairs rooms, the drawing room, the parlor, etc.  One year she asked me to be the one to help her.  While I was assisting her, I was pumping her with questions about her whole hospitality expertise.  Hey, why not!

She revealed to me that she always makes Thanksgiving dinner ahead of time, now.  She had grown sons and daughters and their children coming from several states, and always felt like she slaved in the kitchen and missed time with them, personally.  (Her house was built a hundred years ago, and the kitchen was separate from the area where guests would congregate.)  So she switched to doing all of her preps ahead of time, and loved the results.  This gets rid of the turkey carcass, all the messy pans, etc. ahead of time—so that on that special day her final detail “load” is simple.  She serves the turkey all cut up (on an earlier day she had worn thin disposable surgical/plastic gloves to debone the turkey—no mess on her hands) in a big casserole dish with a bouillon cube dissolved in water poured over it to steam it at the last minute to make it moist, while reheating it in the oven with the cover on, along with everything else she was re-heating.  On serving day or party day she walks around calmly, with elegant tables already set (she sets the tables two days ahead of time and drapes a sheet over the tables to keep the dust off), looking gorgeous and exuding gracious remarks to everyone.  What a difference in her stress load.

Forward this tip to other mothers, if you’d like.  For more on this topic, see No Stress Holidays for Moms.

Filed Under: Home management tips

Two cautions for grandparents who want to grandparent with holiness

Tuesday, 28. October 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

Whenever we are loving other people’s children, there are two temptations that Satan often seems to hurl our way.  They are very subtle temptations, almost unperceivable to our own hearts, but, in fact, are seen by God and are felt by both the child and his parents.

The first temptation is crafted to entice us to love the child for our own sake, not the child’s sake.  The second is to pirate the child’s first love away from his own parents onto ourselves, because we somehow think that we love the child just a smidgeon better, with more skill, or acumen, than the parents do, given their youth and inexperience relative to ours.  This could be viewed as engaging in a kind of quiet ongoing emotional adultery.  It will be felt by the parents, even if it is never mentioned.

Let’s look at some examples of the manifestations of both temptations for grandparents.

One:
The temptation of loving the child for our own sake, not the child’s sake

Because grandparents have a natural built-in fan club—a captive audience—with their own grandchildren, they can be tempted to share stories about themselves that are, in fact, not uplifting for the child.  A grandparent will often tell a story, with a twinkle in his eye, about something naughty that he did in his own childhood and got away with it.  These stories could be about some way that he tricked others, or how he cleverly didn’t tell the whole truth, or gained some advantage off a poor unsuspecting other child or adult relative or teacher, or did some wild adventure against his parent’s wishes that they never knew of, or duped someone, stole something little, won without fairness, or was worldly popular or the best one in the crowd, etc.  These stories, told with a hero’s confidence, give the child a double message.  They tear down the child’s desire to build his own character in holy directions, and they undermine what godly parents are trying to inculcate in their children.  But because the grandparent knows that he does not have to carry responsibility for how the child will ultimately turn out, he now feels free to “toy” with the child’s emotions, for his own ego-gain.  By telling these types of stories the grandparent walks away with a spring in his step, having gained more of “self” when the child says, “wow” or when the child’s eyes grow big, or when the child cheers.  But, sadly, the child walks away with a sanctioned desire to toy with mincing corruption in his own case.  His eyes dart in every corner to now make his own stories, so he can be like his grandparent someday, receiving the same adulation in the telling of his ill behavior.

So, what is the way out of this temptation?  When telling stories from our own lives, we should seek to always re-craft them to drive home some holy character trait. We can reinforce this message by saying things like: “That didn’t work out so well for me”, “I learned my lesson”, “My joys were only temporary”, “I was unkind”, “I wish I could do that over again and love the other person more than I loved myself”, etc.  We can drive home the idea that all ideas and actions have consequences, even if not felt immediately—they do have eventual fall-out.  Therefore we must strive to fashion all our interchanges with the child to grow a holy child, working with the parent in that endeavor, not against them, however small the foray into such talks may be.

Here’s another case: when holding a child, be mindful of when the child prefers to get down, do we keep the child past his own wishes simply because we are bigger and gaining satisfaction from the physical touch?  We can ask ourselves: do we hold the child for his sake, or for our own?  And further, do we playfully trick the child (having physical superiority over him) for our own laughter, or do we genuinely care about the child’s trust in us to do only good to him?  Do we dote on his cuteness for our sake, allowing the child self-indulgence for our own temporary pleasure, or do we keep a keen, holy, judicious eye upon the child for his own long-term ability to self-manage, self-deny and self-sacrifice?  Do we see ourselves hovering over the child for the formation of his own holy character, as God’s faithful steward over the child, even for just an afternoon, or do we view the child solely, for the moment, as our own possession?  A child is continually being formed, by the hour, in one direction or another.  Which prod are we?

Second case of examples:
The temptation of pirating the child’s emotions for our own.

The best way to ensure against falling into this temptation is to do endless good to the child while not drawing attention to ourselves.  Give him things for his sake; shower our gifts and attentions and focus upon him in a self-forgetting manner.  Keep the focus upon the child’s interests, ambitions, applause for his accomplishments, and aiding his goals while minimizing what it is that we just did for him.  Seek to draw no thought to ourselves.  Focus the child’s praise upon the Lord, not upon ourselves.  As the old hymn writer penned so well, “And may they forget the channel, seeing only Him.”  Be a benefactor/benefactress to the child in hidden ways as often as possible, making advantageous connections for him behind the scenes or giving money or widened opportunity for him without the child or parent’s knowing, as if it came from someone else.  Constantly wean the child off from us and onto the Lord in our speech with him.

The most important cultivation of our own holiness in this regard is to build up the child’s parents in front of the child in our own speech, whenever he is with us.  Remind him of how wonderful his parents are and all that they do for him.  Teach him to thank his parents; help him write the thank you notes; help him shape the grateful verbal phrases that he will use for when he walks back in the door of his parent’s home; teach him to be grateful for little things they do; help cultivate his awareness of his parents’ fatigue; and show him how to bless his parents with obedience and how to attack his work or project that he does with us with excellence, in order to show his parents later.  If we teach him to love his parents well, the self-serving temptation we often feel for the child will scamper away with its tail between its legs.  Let our lives be brimming with love for others—and their connectedness.  Let ours be the hidden life of self-sacrifice in regard to grandchildren and their parents, and then shall our sleep be “oh, so sweet” as we share in the secrets of his Christ-likeness—knowing what the effects of those secrets feel like in our own bosoms, in our own prayer closets.

For further reading on godly grandparenting, see How to Be Very Nearly Perfect Grandparents.

Tips for organizing your home

Tuesday, 21. October 2014 by Renee Ellison

Image

Written to mom who feels organizationally challenged:

Now how can we get you on TOP of your circumstances instead of under them?  Sometimes hiring a very organized teenage girl can help you for a one-time boost.  Some people are just born more organized than others.  Is there some girl at church, perhaps? or in another homeschooling family? or some older lady whom you admire, whose family is already raised—to just come over for one day to plow through the worst of it, with you—developing some systems for you?

With or without such help, the greatest principle is to just start moving in that direction.  Pick up one thing and put it somewhere…then the next.  Action creates emotions.  The famous German philosopher Goethe said: “Only begin it and the mind grows heated; simple start it and soon the job is completed.”

Here is the principle: anything you do repetitively, you want to do optimally.

You need a wall of loads of pre-made cardboard boxes with removable lids.  White records boxes (one cubic foot each) work splendidly (obtainable from any office supply store).  Mark the end of each box what is in it.  You want to buy these, because they look tidy all stacked together and the lids are super easy for getting in and out of repeatedly.  Just the look of them will help you and the family stay neat.  Often we aren’t neat because we don’t have a place for everything; this eliminates that problem.  Use them all over the house if you have to.  They are cheaper than furniture, and much easier to organize than drawers, because smaller groups of things can be contained with like kinds.

For your kitchen, purchase a shoebox-size flat plastic container that you toss all dirty silverware in as you use it.  Use a flat container, because if you dump dirty silverware into a large bowl it can tend to tip over, and if you set them on a flat plate they often spill out all over the counter and they don’t get soaked to loosen the stuck particles.  Get this plastic shoebox that will from now on contain all your silverware neatly and will never topple over, no matter how much you toss in there.  Keep it permanently open on the back of your counter, near your sink.  This keeps the dirty silverware out of being stashed in between the plates, making them stack all catty-whompus on the counter, and lets you tightly stack everything in a much smaller space, if you don’t have time to do the dishes right then.  This keeps your counter stacked and clean- looking at all times.

Rinse everything as soon as you take it to the counter.  Rinse all pots and pans as soon as you dump the cooked food out onto dinner plates.  By rinsing immediately you keep your kitchen clean and lessen your future job of washing.  Keep a long-handled brush by the sink and swish it on every dish/plate/pot immediately. The long-handled brush allows you to pre-wash anything, even if you are in a pretty dress and running out the door, because your hands don’t have to get down in the water.  When you do wash the dishes, focus on speed.  I use three white dish drainers and have them sitting on the counter at all times, so that I can just fling the pots and pans into them.  I set the three on a large white towel and keep changing the towel every few days or once a week.  The speed becomes fun: “Okay—I’m going to be a bulldozer—ready, set, go—can I get it done in five minutes? three minutes?”  Work quickly and get it over with.  It helps to have two sinks, and a plastic tub inside each sink; one is for washing in hot soapy water; the other is for immersing and rinsing in clean hot water.  (For lots more tips, order our inexpensive, helpful practical DVD of Kitchen Efficiency Tips.)

Form a habit of swiping a paper towel around your bathroom floor or tub or sink when you are in there already—not as a separate formidable job that you dread.  Do it on the run.

I play a little psychological game with myself, convincing myself that I enjoy taking the trash outside to the big container because it forces me to take little mini-walks all throughout the day—helping me exercise and get sun!

Stop watching TV/media/movies/non-informational movies on the Web.  It is a super time waster, causing you to arouse your emotions over something you can do nothing about.  It is a consummate robber of energy, resolve, relationship, planning, doing, etc.  You’ll notice a difference in your capabilities immediately.  If you use media as a baby-sitter for your children, be terrified of this sure result: “The parent’s convenience becomes the child’s addiction.”  Instead, train your children to work from a very early age.  (We know a toddler whose job it is to deposit his own dirty diaper in the trash.)  Having to clean the house forces you to employ your children in doing something meaningful with you.  Always do it together.  More is caught than taught.

Also: if you just can’t get on top of your energy even without the enervation caused by the TV, check your thyroid levels (through a blood test).  Your thyroid may be under-firing, causing you to feel tired all the time.  A natural bovine thyroid supplement or a plant-based compound tailor made and prescribed by your health practitioner can make a world of difference, if your levels are low.  Also, get off all added sugar, and experiment with getting off wheat (many find that a fatiguing food).

Filed Under: Home management tips